HOW TO
DEAL WITH PROBLEMS
RELATED TO
KEEPING CLEAN:
PROBLEM
Tyson
had just returned from playing in a hockey game. As
he entered the house the room became
filled with the smell of sweat and dirty hockey gear. His mother
commented on
this and told him to go shower right away.
Tyson shrugged and went up stairs.
A half an hour later his mother called him for dinner. Tyson ran down the stairs to the dinner
table.
“What is that smell?
Tyson, I thought I told you to shower” she said, with discontent.
“I can’t shower,
Mom. It’s bad luck. You wouldn’t want me
to break our winning streak, would you?” he asked
“No, but I would like
you to shower. We shouldn’t all have to
suffer. You’re ten years old.
By now you should be responsible enough to
keep yourself clean. Honestly, Tyson,
what am I going to do with you?”
Tyson
looked down at his food.
DISCUSSION
1.
Nagging
about
cleanliness will most likely result in
worsening the problem. When you nag, the
child wins attention, control or revenge by resisting your stated
wishes.
2. Neutral modeling, instruction and letting your child experience natural consequences will help your child to learn the importance of keeping clean much faster than will nagging.
SOLUTION
1.
Introduce
cleanliness
routines early in life and keep
these pleasant. Allow young children as
much control in carrying out these routines as is developmentally
possible.
2.
Show
your child how you
keep clean and explain and
show why. Talk about and show germs
under a microscope and explain their relation to getting sick,
smelling,
getting rashes or acne, etc. With school
aged children you can describe the great decrease in infectious
diseases that
occurred in the 1800’s when people first understood the connection
between
invisible germs, eating and sickness and initiated the practice of
hand-washing
before eating.
3.
Let
your child know that
you will not serve food to
anyone who has not adequately washed his or her hands.
Explain that health is your responsibility
and you will not let them do something that might get them sick.
4.
Allow
your child to pick
out his or her favorite
soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, towel, washcloth and other items, to have
some
choice and control in cleanliness routines.
5.
Maintain
regular
cleanliness habits yourself and
explain why you do so.
6.
At
a neutral time, “take
time for training” and show
children what they should do to keep clean.
(The best way to teach is by example, not words).
7.
Check
on your child’s
habits only occasionally. (If a second
training is needed—say for hair
washing--do so at a neutral time).
8.
Encourage
your child to
do as much of his or her
cleanliness routine on her own—but keep her company if she wants, while
she
learns.
9.
Allow
your child to
experience natural or logical
consequences. Boys, for example, begin
to keep themselves very clean when they become interested in girls.
10.
Brushing
teeth should be
an issue between your child
and their dentist (you can ask your dentist to give a training, and
encouragement).
11.
If
your child refuses to
bathe and smells bad, say,
at dinner time, either ask your child to move away from the table to
eat, or
you can move away from the child.
12.
Trust
that your child can
learn from natural
consequences – other people's comments, etc.
13.
If
your child wants to
see a doctor, for, say, skin
irritations or acne, make an appointment right away and let the older
child or
teen handle as much of the meeting with the doctor as possible.
